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8 Ways To Use EQ To Build Connections That Last

So many leaders have been taught to ignore their own emotions as well as the emotions of their colleagues. 


If this is how you, too, were taught to do things — it must be pretty difficult for you! All of the research that’s been done out there on Emotional Intelligence shows that this is not the way you yield the best possible outcomes in the workplace today. When you learn how to effectively deal with people first; that’s when you achieve success.  


Did you know that a person’s personal and interpersonal skills actually carry a lot more weight than a person’s IQ in determining which people end up becoming leaders? Some studies show that a minimum of 25% of an individual’s success can be attributed to IQ!


So, now that we’ve established that EQ is critical when it comes to relationship skills — how exactly do we do things from here? To start off with, here are 8 Ways To Use EQ To Build Connections That Last:


  1. Communicate More Personally


Incompetent leaders hide behind a veil of digital communication, avoiding genuine human contact at all costs. This can sometimes translate into emailing a colleague who is sitting a few metres away from them, instead of going up and talking to the person face-to-face. Making stuff happen still requires the ability to try and get people to like you, respect you, listen to you, and feel compelled to personally connect with you. Life hack to remember: If you want to get ahead of your game, real human connection always trumps digital connection.


  1. Focus on “We”, Not “Me”


When it comes to communicating with EQ, you have to understand that it’s not all about you! Remember that nobody successful ever did it alone, anyway. 


  1. Enquire About Other People’s Experiences


Guys, you need to be obsessively interested in others. Practically everything great you will achieve will be as a result of the relationships you create and cultivate. Each person in your company comes to work with a unique set of experiences, lessons, gifts, and talents. It’s your job to learn exactly what these are. In this way, you’ll be able to more deeply connect with them, as well as tap into those experiences in order to achieve your own organisational goals.


  1. Put Other People’s Needs Before Your Own


Do this within reason, of course — but once in a while, at least. Teamwork is not merely just a bunch of people doing whatever you say! That’ll do nothing but destroy connective communication. First find out how you can help the other person, then do something, and then follow up and check in with them.


  1. Find Out What Motivates Your Team Members


Discover what drives the people in your team. Is it money, is it levelling-up, or is it a good old challenge? All expectations are legitimate, but you need to know what they are if you want to connect with them. Find out your team members’ expectations of what defines a good leader. This will give a bit of an idea as to what works and what doesn’t when it comes to connecting with your team.


  1. Increase Your Empathy    


The best leaders are well aware and accepting of the fact that other people might see things completely differently to how they do. As a leader, they truly want to learn how those people see things and what those people feel.


If you want to increase your empathy, put yourself in another person’s shoes, and try to see the world from his or her perspective. Make an effort to fully understand the pressures, responsibilities, and demands that the other person has to deal with. Life hack phrase to increase your empathy: “I’d love to know more about that!”  


  1. Be Consciously Attentive


When you are in the presence of another person, put your phone down and put it on silent. Paying attention to your phone or your incoming messages rather than the human being in front of you is the ultimate insult. Ensure that you give complete undivided attention to every single person you communicate with.


Listen to them as if your life depended on it. Never interrupt them. Pause after you ask a question and after they answer. Ask other related questions. Do not instantly shift the topic of conversation to yourself. 


  1. Give Massive Amounts of Recognition


People who are amazing at connecting are equally as amazing at recognising others and their efforts. 


This is something you can do verbally; or you can give someone written recognition — specifically, handwritten letters. These are far more powerful than just sending an email. Keep in mind, it’s really not difficult to find things to recognise. 


So remember: (i) Everyone wants recognition; (ii) it’s super easy to give; and (iii) there is always something you can recognise!

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